Sometimes the Life Doula Needs Her Own Toolbox Too

Lots has happened since December.

Life arrived in one hand with incredible joy and in the other with deep uncertainty.

This Winter, I became a Grandmother to a beautiful little girl. Even typing those words makes me smile. There is something almost impossible to describe about holding new life in your arms. It softens you. Opens you. Reminds you what truly matters. She brought light into my heart during a season when I truly needed it.

At the same time, my husband began experiencing health issues. Some small. Some serious. Some incredibly frightening.

There were moments this Winter where I felt helpless. Moments where all I could do was sit and wait. Wait for answers. Wait for appointments. Wait for test results. Wait to exhale.

And in those moments, I had to dig pretty deep into my own toolbox.

The same tools I gently encourage others to explore became the very things holding me together.

• Breathing techniques.

• Gratitude journaling

• Asking for help

• Letting people show up for me

• Learning to sit in uncertainty without allowing it to completely consume me.

None of it magically erased fear.

But it helped me move through it.

One breath at a time.

One day at a time.

I think sometimes people assume those of us in helping professions have everything figured out. That because we teach mindfulness or grounding or emotional regulation, we somehow float through difficult seasons untouched.

We don’t.

We are human too.

We still get scared. We still cry in the kitchen. We still lie awake at night. We still need reminders to drink water, breathe deeply, and rest.

But this season reminded me of something important: These practices truly work.

Not because they remove hardship, but because they help anchor us while moving through it.

Now that we are on the other side of things, I feel grateful in a completely different way. Grateful for my family. Grateful for support. Grateful that I allowed myself to receive care instead of always being the one giving it.

And honestly, I am proud of myself too.

Proud that when life became heavy, I didn’t abandon myself.

I showed up for myself the same way I encourage others to do.

Maybe that is the real work after all.

Not perfection. Not pretending to always be strong.

But learning how to return to ourselves again and again through every season life brings.

With love,

Sabine

Spice for Life Coaching